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Fichi farcite con noce e cioccolato

The baking is done. Well, except for some cookies I really should whip up. And I will, as soon as I get a free moment.

I’ve been wondering how it is I’ve spent so long avoiding every possible means to get out of where I am. Oh, sure, I could have sought out ways to learn how to write, years ago, so that I could be published somewhere (anywhere) until I had some body of work to show for my efforts. I’m wondering how it is that I kept hearing the critical voices in my head, when I have other voices–encouraging ones!–coming from all angles around me as well. I wish I’d found a way to ask someone to help me to do this, instead of let myself be convinced that I’d never be able…that what I could do was irrelevant in some way, worth nothing to anyone. It’s not. I’ve been led to see how wrong that is. And I feel so angry about everything that’s brought me to this stagnant and deadly place. But mostly I feel so angry that I never believed I could do something to escape it.

Until now.

I hate resolutions. They are doomed, by nature. But the New Year is coming and this is the time to turn this around and re-imagine myself as whatever it is that lost girl wanted to become. Why is it I’ve never been to places I’ve made myself stop wanting to see? What have I put into place to paralyze me?

I feel like I’m on the verge of pulling that whole construct down. It’s such a happy possibility to contemplate over sliced finocchio as the year ends.

In anticipation, and in celebration, of all the revolutions to come, here’s my recipe for stuffed figs for Christmas:

You’ll need:

1 package of dried figs (I like to use the ones from Cosenza–since they’re from the place where this Christmas sweet originates).

1 package of fresh walnut halves or pecan halves (your choice. If you use pecan, roast them slightly first).

100 grams high cocoa content chocolate (I’m going to use one with lots of cocoa, lots of cinnamon and cardamom, and lots of chili pepper).

(chocolate chips are optional)

1. Flatten and then slice open the dried figs, cutting from the base of each fig to the fig’s “stem”. Don’t cut through that, but open the cut figs up like butterflies.

2. Place a nut half on one side of the sliced fig, and, if you like, put some chocolate chips into the dried fruit as well. Other ideas for stuffings include using real chocolate nibs that you’ve chopped up.

3. Fold the fig together again, so that the nutmeats are sandwiched inside the fig’s halves. Arrange them in one layer on a plate or tray lined with parchment paper; cover the layer with more parchment, then use a weight on top of the paper to “press” the figs flat for an hour or so.

4. Melt the chocolate in a double boiler. According to your preference, hand dip each fig in the chocolate to coat it thoroughly or in part; if you prefer that the chocolate just serves as a bitter counterpoint to the sweetness of the dried fruit, drizzle the melted chocolate over the figs until they’re coated to your preference. Place them on parchment and allow the chocolate to set.

You can vary the kind of chocolate you use: black and white chocolate swirled together looks pretty; or you can use a spiced dark chocolate (such as the one with cinnamon and chili pepper) to add extra nuances of flavour to the dried fruit and nut mixture.

A little prosecco, a late harvest wine or an icewine made from Cabernet Franc would make a perfect cold weather ending to a long, long year.

Moved my blog under duress

Okay, so I moved my blog here from blogger a while ago, thinking the transition was going to be a bit of a hassle, but nothing near the headache it’s actually become.

I don’t know why it seems to be beyond me, but the set up of this template is driving me crazy. Nothing about this layout seems to work as it says it will…and consequently the sidebars on this blog appear to be compiled by an illiterate. Worse, by a computer illiterate. All I wanted was a bit of anonymity, some protection from the ability to be found on line. Sure, I did a foolish thing, I published someone’s name and it brought him straight to me…but is this the kind of punishment I have to endure? Is bad design going to torment me my whole life long, no matter what I do? Haven’t I paid my penance already, in being “found” and forced to move?

I’ve tried setting up the blogspot site again and naturally I can’t import everything I’ve put here since the move, so, no go. But no wonder it’s more popular. It’s just a lot more intuitively designed. I have to keep saving and redoing and saving and clicking to save and hunting about for the obvious with this format on wordpress and I get nowhere–the text boxes don’t format or allow for or respect punctuation. This shouldn’t have to be tougher than brain surgery, people. And for the love of all things pertaining to the goddess, I shouldn’t have to change and rechange and reset and go back and reset the damned colour of the font after changing it for the entire goddamned post.

Already.

(sigh)

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