So we finally signed the contract on the new car last night, and I’m finding it hard to process my emotions about this ordeal. M. took a long time to get this transaction to take place, and when it happened it came out in a way that was quite different from the way it was represented to me. The salesman was dishonest about so many things–so I’ve come away from the deal feeling completely suckered. But the worst part about the entire experience is M.’s reaction to the situation: when I signed the contract for the car, I voiced my displeasure about the car as a demo–it had 10000 kms on it, before I even saw it! And yet we were being given a price which was only a few dollars less than the price for a brand new car; finally, when the car was delivered to me, another 60 kms had been added to it–so, in effect, I signed for a car which had fewer kms, but was not delivered that car…and now M. is reluctant to demand that that change be made to our documentation, to reflect that. He’s furious with me for voicing my concern, but he seems to have no qualms about committing me and my income to this deal for the next five years, no matter what I think of the deal. It’s an understatement to say I’m disappointed, and not just with the car, which is almost irrelevant.
What’s most hurtful is the fact that I was being made to feel that I could not voice my concerns about what was obviously an unfair deal: we were buying a used car, not a new one, and yet my husband had agreed that we would pay the full price; the car was further used so that our documents would have to be changed, but the salesman decided he would try to get away without changing them (probably because he duped my husband so successfully on every other point). I found out as well that my husband agreed to pay for “delivery” charges on the car, which I would never have allowed since the car was used when we received it. I would never agree to pay those charges on a brand new car that was being made to my specifications, and then delivered: I’d never allow it on what we got. And I’m furious to the point of violence that my husband dared to silence me on these points, while strapping me to the agreement regardless of my concerns.
This isn’t the first time I’ve felt shortchanged and silenced by M. in matters where my financial stability and future have been the issue. He doesn’t see that, and it’s extremely troubling. When this discussion took place last year about this time, I felt my mind was completely made up on the matter: we were through, and it was just a matter of time before that would be evident. I looked to other sources for intimacy, and got on with things. This time around, however, I don’t think I’ll need intimacy or support so much at all.
If I can’t get him to understand this well, we are not going to last. He’s a good man, who claims to love me: but he’s a good man who acts like he does not love me whatsoever.
Times like these, I don’t want to be married anymore.
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